The diary of a cat and the diary of a dog

A DOG'S DIARY: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite! 2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite! 3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! 4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite! 7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite! 8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite! 11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite! A CAT'S DIARY: Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I amforcedto eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope ofescape,and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow Imay eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must trythis at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse thesevile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair- must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of,and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescendedabout what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smellthefood. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to mypowers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to myadvantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy toreturn.He is obviously ahalf-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant andspeaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Dueto his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But Ican wait; it is only a matter of time.